My Life

Man. Sometimes life is just hard.

I feel like we're at one of those points right now. Life has been really stressful. For me. For Ian. Probably for Cayman and Charis too (even though they can't really say that with their words.) Life has changed quite a bit for us in the past month. Ian has been working crazy hours due to some staffing issues. He's been a little stressed about stuff at the store. I have been having quite a bit of behavioral issues from Charis -- we just don't get along most of the time. Not the highlight of my parenting career thus far. Callie has been having some tummy issues, just like Charis used to have. She also is a little congested, which leads to some SCARY choking fits (which usually result in her vomiting everywhere.) And poor Cayman - his favorite playmate (Daddy) hasn't been able to be at home much recently, his sisters get lots of attention from Mommy, and he tries his best to be cute and funny and help his mommy. But even he has started acting out a little in ways that are uncommon for him. 

Life is hard.

But as stressed as I have been, as stressed as Ian has been, we still have each other. We still have our children. I can still hold Callie (and risk being drenched in spit up.) I can still comfort Charis after she falls in the parking lot, even though I warned her not to run in her big Hello Kitty rain boots. I can still cheer for Cayman for finding a letter C on the side of a truck as it pulls up alongside our van on the road. There are 20 sets of parents in our nation right now that won't have that luxury tonight. Or any night for that matter. Because their child has been murdered. Shot by a mad man. 

And here I sit, "recooping" after a rough day, typing away on my laptop. 

I could be grieving. Deep, gut wrenching grief. Grief that would never go away. Ever.

Thank God I'm not grieving.

Thank God my life is "hard" right now. Because it means I have my sweet children to discipline, to love, to raise, to cherish. 

My life is not hard. My life is good. Some moments in my life are difficult. 

But my life is abundant and full.

Thank God for this life He has given me.

My sustainer. My strength. My savior.

Especially in the difficult moments.